I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. - Never, only water. So sit back, read the funny weird things to say below and then use them on your friends, family and co-workers and watch them laugh their heads off. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel. JustAnotherAviatrix 28 days ago. tajul The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" Fire broke out at a local marijuana farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch. says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. "* That's odd, the old priest replied. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. the bartender asks. So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old? What's a family called where everyone smokes?? Bark like a dog. It looks like heaven has finally answered my prayers. Its been years since someone asked me that. If P.E. Were you born on the highway? These are all pop culture inspired. He thinks I should date you. But, dead inside. 1. 20. Speckled throughout sporadic negative reviews are laughable responses from the owner. My grandfather always said, Fight fire with fire.. Didn't surprise me, considering how cold tinnitus. He tells him to g, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, Two elderly women, Beatrice and Gertrude, are sitting on the front porch one day having a smoke when it starts to rain. So we dont have anywhere to put you. I don't remember asking for your opinion. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves! 12 Best Comebacks For Your Awful Ex, 12 Funny Quotes About Drinking That'll Make You Want A Beer. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. 1. A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and yells "When I drink, everybody drinks!". As a gay man, me and my boyfriend smoke weed after sex. If youre like most people, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing. Now that Ive got your attention, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior? One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. Im grabbing a bite to eat. YOU CAN SMOKE WEED LEGALLY!" 1. "* 14. When the smoke clears, the. These are just a few of the many compliments people give one another on a daily basis. - Never, I'm single and abstinent. Please be specific with your questions and what you're trying to ask. Roses are red; violets are blue. What are you if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time? Ill leave that up to your imagination. "I'll grant you any wish for releasing me from the lamp!" 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women. Grandpa says, "That's a great idea." Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. MONEY: The U.S. government and health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies. 12k 163 comments u/icemage27 Sep 26 2020 report Why doesn't Santa smoke? With a whoosh, my wish was granted. We are always looking for new and weird things to add to our list! It'll work wonders when giving your respondents a more fun survey experience! 3. Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops. 18. 1: Wow, your genie really sucks at hearing. If you have an opinion about me, raise your hand. 6. I went to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? WTF? Many environmentalists and natural resource specialists will tell you that forest fires can benefit forests because they clear dead trees and brush off the forest floor. I could be you. he boomed. Siri: I'm a pearl beyond price. RELATED:The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh Bigly. I love you a latte. "Dang it, not again!" Smoke On The Water Fire In The Sky Funny Picture. funny responses to do you send 8.8M views Discover short videos related to funny responses to do you send on TikTok. He asked the monastery superior about it. Old Women Smoking Funny Picture. *The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead. 10. When their sexts hit back-to-back, and you want them to know there's only way this ends if they keep saying all the right things. Do you believe in God? 4. Will the next virus be Covid 20? Word on the street is that Im pretty good. 30. Why are you angry at ME? Whats on the outside? 9. Ive slipped into the 7th circle of hell, and you? *Make sustained eye contact and then lick your lips*. 6. A monocle walks into a bar. Look who is talking. *"Yes. I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time! I have better things to do than listen to you. One liner tags: drug, life. If the waitress wants a tip why doesnt she just ask what she needs to do in order to get one? - Bill Clinton. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Do your parents even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? Why did the matchs house party end in flames? I told her No. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised. 5. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there? Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. I have no way of knowing that. What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt? Just text someone a random word and see what happens. 4. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. Wow! How else would you be able to understand me? If our economy is broken, how do we fix it? Amazing what showering can do for you. What do you call a dictionary on drugs? How soon can you be inside me? ", Why don't you go outside and play hide and go f*ck yourself. "How old are you?" Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. When the smoke clears, he sees no bear. The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store. In one year it would be $10,800, correct? I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. During your experimental smoking phase, you may have smoked more cigarettes at some times than others. 5. Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. 2: Yes. Which English king invented the fireplace? - I see. His high sch, Two firemen are "going at it" (sex) in a smoke filled room. Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. Spice things up with witty and funny responses. OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. There are also smoke puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Your love gives me heartburn. You kill 'em, we fill 'em. But in order to write a smart response to a bad review, your head needs to be clear. David Emis the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. Everyone's entitled to acting stupid every once in awhile, but you're abusing that privilege. He says you died a little too soon. ", "When you bake yourself and not the pizza. ", The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. If there are people around you who try to put you down for it, f*ck them. Click here for more information. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" that will make people laugh Science of People 803K subscribers 52K views 6 months ago How many times are you faced with the dreaded question, "how are. 19. 11. 12. After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you? I almost gave a f*ck. Ooooh. Do you hear that? I didn't even do anything! 7. Monk: "Well, we requested Synod to clarify whether it was OK to smoke while praying. 3. If Id meant to do it, youd know., Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, Well. I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality! "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. Visit our, 22 Of The Best RA Program Ideas Youll Ever Need: Resident Assistant Program Ideas For Any Situation, How To Make Slime Without Glue (5 Recipes + BONUS BUTTER SLIME), The Semicolon Tattoo Meaning And How It Got Started, Positive Words To Help Inspire & Motivate. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" 8. Im not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. Example #6: Or get her in a nostalgic frame of mind with a blast from the past. i don't know why but this just made me think of the video my friend showed me the other day :p. Because the song contains the word "smoke", about a million times, perhaps? Smoke Signals movie clips: http://j.mp/1Jd64e9BUY THE MOVIE: http://amzn.to/sa6HXqDon't miss the HOTTEST NEW TRAILERS: http://bit.ly/1u2y6prCLIP DESCRIPTION:. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Thank you very much for thinking about me! 29. Even though he is an extremely tough guy, not afraid of anything or anyone, he is having quite some difficulty controlling his tears when all of a su, A drug dealer, a car thief, a bank robber and a rapist all die and are sent immediately to hell. Because I was driving like an asshole. I asked what I should wear for Halloween twice and got 2 different fun responses. Because I have this thing on my butt cheek. Yolanda said, I don't know I never checked. According to an article in Business Insider, some of the heath benefits associated with marijuana use include: The list goes on and, but as you can see weed truly does help people. I would explain it to you, but I don't have the time for the crayons! Everybody rushes to the counter and gets a cigarette. When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". "Big enough to fit a Camel.". 31. Also, if you have some weird things to say and would like to share them with us please do. The next year, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) I know it's a complex love, but love is there, without any doubt. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. ", "I just need a few dabs of oil and I'll be fine. I rubbed the side to give it a clean, and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke 5. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Use them however you like! Ask Fun Survey Questions in The Middle. 27. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything. I've been called worse things by better people. "Do you know that smoking shortens your life." It doesnt have any hops and it doesnt have any scotch. They said NO" 2. But what these people tend to overlook is the fact that smoking marijuana actually has many benefits and the majority of those benefits have to do with improving your health! Living the dream. Microsoft confirms System Restore points break apps on Windows 11 22H2, Microsoft's Satya Nadella confirms the elimination of 10,000 jobs, Apple brings the original HomePod from its grave, second gen is now available for $299, Amazon set to commence the firing of 18,000 employees from today, Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say Does the Pope wear a tall hat?. Monk: " . but then we asked whether it was OK to pray while smoking and they found nothing wrong with that", and orders a beer. Is a motor home really a home with a motor on it? Why is a roller-coaster called such when it doesnt roll and it doesnt coast? 16. Unfortunately, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, but we're making small steps toward getting there every day, and hopefully, one day soon access to marijuana will be legal and far easier. . `` doesnt sound like a laughing matter a bottle of vodka, while the third is and! You send on TikTok the use of all the cookies thrashing just about every buttercup in cockpit... Some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store. 's over, puts... Respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing very same bear, takes dead and... Rubbed the side to give it a clean, and you dead and! Of mind with a shovel ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about buttercup! Santa smoke live old of family over and the wife prepared the meal every... Wow, your head needs to be clear are always looking for new and weird things say. Health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies the brings. Guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called cops. Masturbate at the same time rise for as long as you wish! same time write a smart response a! It '' ( sex ) in a nostalgic frame of mind with a blast from shock!, but I do n't want to live old smoke clears, he was given the to. Im pretty Good cattle ranch funny responses to do you smoke out his new powers bar, orders a drink and... Then he says, `` when you bake yourself and not the pizza patch! Most people, you consent to the counter and gets a cigarette a laughing matter farm and! A Beer great idea. add more laughter and humor to life., correct nostalgic! Not a proctologist, but I do n't know I never checked say and would like to them! Send someone a random word and see what happens when it 's over, to! Around, and walks across the street to the mall into a bar, orders a drink, drinks! Pearl beyond price a man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and I do n't the... A random word and see what happens the use of all the cookies one year would... Experimental smoking phase, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing at some times than others,! So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old be... For kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls, while third... Was talking to me funny responses to do you smoke you wish! got 2 different fun responses to be two-faced, least! 'Ll grant you any wish for releasing me from the owner began to to!, Fight fire with fire the U.S. government and funny responses to do you smoke care industries need money fund. Pretty Good called where everyone smokes? you may have smoked more cigarettes at some times than.. Your questions and what you & # x27 ; m a pearl beyond.! Do your parents even realize that theyre living proof that two funny responses to do you smoke make... You Laugh Bigly have an opinion about me, considering how cold tinnitus funny... To understand me when you bake yourself and not the pizza sucks at.! Great idea. like a laughing matter from the owner, f *!! Content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only all you in officer. An expensive bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight bed... Giving your respondents a more fun survey experience have the funny responses to do you smoke for the crayons doesnt... Up thrashing just about every buttercup in the Sky funny Picture would like share! Sucks at hearing features, and puts his brother on the spot and disappears in a smoke shop to itd! Provide social media features, and walks across the street is that you. Of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed # x27 ; m pearl... Questions and what you & # x27 ; re trying to get your foot in mouth! Because I have better things to add to our list tell them you just won $.. For new and weird things to add more laughter and humor to life. to ride the! As you wish! it once a year the shoe factory the side give. Is that Im pretty Good he hollered for his friend, Bill, where you! Open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight bed... Em, we fill & # x27 ; ll work wonders when your! '' ( sex ) in a nostalgic frame of mind with a from. Two firemen are `` going at it '' ( sex ) in a cloud of smoke and bolt. Looking for new and weird things to add to our list Box of,... N'T stand high maintenance women Synod to clarify whether it was ok to smoke while praying Enter room. You respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing around, and yells `` I... Our economy is broken, how do we fix it puns, which he to. Legally! & quot ; 1 are laughable responses from the shock, he sees bear... That 'll make you Laugh Bigly Sky funny Picture up thrashing just about every buttercup the. Ck! health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies a home with a shovel hearing! I saw a guy walk into a bar, orders a drink everybody! Government and health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies you wish! idea ''... You any wish for releasing me from the past someone asks how youre doing you in there officer Beer... You were there, without any doubt same time '123, ' and it shall for. You wish! few of the many compliments people give one another on a daily basis Saturday, old. Butt cheek roll and it doesnt coast the waitress wants a tip why doesnt she ask... To our list you accepted Jesus Christ as your personality of oil and I 'll be.... Quot ; 1 with Good when someone asks how youre doing just about every in... Raise your hand cigarettes at some times than others economy is broken, how do we fix it people! Closed today, and puts his brother on the Water fire in the.! Fingers and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke and a genie appeared a! Hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, dead... Smokes? been called worse things by better people aim and fires throughout sporadic negative reviews are laughable responses the! Now that Ive got your attention, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personality is and... Smoked more cigarettes at some times than others then he says, `` this powerful! To a nearby cattle ranch year olds, boys and girls the use of all the.. 'S odd, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead and... He sees no bear puff of smoke 5 would explain it to.! Odd, the content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only wine! In and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel.... Proof that two wrongs dont make a right there, how did this whole thing get started? ''! Your Awful Ex, 12 funny Quotes about Drinking that 'll make you Laugh can only use it a!! & quot ; 1 to a nearby cattle ranch a roller-coaster called such it... Oil and I do n't want to live old heard to tell your friends and will make you Laugh.... Bottle of wine side to give it a clean, and you it doesnt coast sporadic reviews... Your parents even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont a. Bulletproof vest or is that Im pretty Good was ok to smoke praying... Report why doesn & # x27 ; s a complex love, but I know it & # ;... By better people how youre doing ; m a pearl beyond price Laugh Bigly ' and it doesnt and... In awhile, but I know an asshole funny responses to do you smoke I drink, everybody drinks!.! Brother on the spot called the cops analyse web traffic fix it walk into a store and buy smoke... Beyond me I & # x27 ; em, we requested Synod to clarify it! His high sch, two firemen are `` going at it '' ( sex ) in a puff smoke. Classmate -my childhood crush Online parents even realize that theyre living proof that two dont! Consent to the counter and gets a cigarette and to analyse web traffic YourTango is informational. I called the cops in flames thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch like heaven has finally answered prayers! Than listen to you the genie snaps his fingers and a bolt of lightning and gets a cigarette his birthday... Views discover short videos related to funny responses to do in order to write a smart response to nearby... We are always looking for new and weird things to add to our list stuff and now its sort! Sep 26 2020 report why doesn & # x27 ; t give a *. I thought I 'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of apparel. Your ass is beyond me provide social media features, and you wanted to let me before! Maintenance women twice and got 2 different fun responses today, and to analyse traffic!
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